As you read the subject line, please do so in the following voice:

Ever since I brought my bike home, I’ve actually only taken it out once, when I realised that:

  • A) It had been eleven years since I was last on a bike;
  • B) I was 35lbs lighter the last time I was on a bike, and the bike was a bigger bike, meant for Sam, who was 6′ 3″, the freak of nature he was. He was SIXTEEN;
  • C) If I didn’t want to get mauled again, I’d need to lose a fair wee bit of weight before I tried to ride it again, so that I could get both feet on the pedals before trying to take off.
  • (Seriously, I can’t believe I never wrote a blog post about this.)

    It actually took about two months before those cuts healed properly and stopped being a ridiculous bright pink. In the meantime, I just kept on telling people I lost a fight with a tiger.

    But yes! So my bike sat out on the landing since April, and then it got moved into the airing green where we hang our clothes to dry, because my next door neighbour’s daughter (or daughter-in-law, I’m not sure which) couldn’t get her pram past it without BREAKING BITS OFF OF MY BIKE. :|

    And then I bought a Turbo Trainer 2 or 3 weeks ago, inspired by this tweet a while back:

    2013-06-28 22.41.53

    At the moment, it’s fine in my living room, but I’m thinking about ways to rearrange my bedroom, since it’s got a thicker carpet in it. But until such times as I get downstairs neighbours, it’s not something I need to worry about.

    Or until people come to visit for a cuppa and I need to use that couch.

    The only problem is, of course:

    IT’S A REAL BIKE.

    I’m so used to a Spin Bike, that being on a REAL BIKE feels alien and bizarre to me. My feet are used to being in cages, and having pedals on the balls of my feet, not having a pedal on the middle of my feet (which is where they have to be right now; this might change one my stomach’s a bit smaller!) and I’m used to having a COMFORTABLE SADDLE.

    Or, well. As comfortable a saddle as one can get on a Spin Bike.

    It means I can only do 10 or 15 minutes at a time before my sit bones (is that what they’re called?) go, “AHAHAHHA no get your fat ass off the bike, lady!” even although my legs are still totally fine and I’m only JUST starting to work up a sweat.

    But if I do that once or twice a day, three times a week, that’ll be fine in addition to some other stuff.

    The good thing is, I have it now. I have the choice and the option.

    And so long as I try to do it during the day, and not, let’s say… 10.30pm? If/when I do get new neighbours, they shouldn’t complain too much about a sound like a power saw every few days for half an hour or so.

    • http://iknowitsforreal.prettyprettyplease.org Fatso

      Just went to see them on via and your blog, and WOW! Not only are they PRETTY and PRETTY GOOD LOOKING, but they also do them in a larger frame size for taller women! THEY DO A FEMALE BIKE THAT I'D BE ABLE TO RIDE!

      (Half of the problem of finding me a bike is that male bikes have the stepover, which means if I get a frame size large enough, I tend to FALL OVER getting on; and women's bikes just go large enough in frame size for my inside leg [33", damn my long legs].)

      But wow. I think if I had to choose a bike, that'd be a really good contender.

    • http://la-petite-francophile.blogspot.co.uk/ Heather

      Have you seen the new bikes at Halfords designed by Victoria Pendleton? Nice comfy saddles and a more ladylike riding position. And a pannier for your handbag! I want one so bad. I actually wrote a blog entry about them yesterday! xx

    • http://iknowitsforreal.prettyprettyplease.org Fatso

      Luckily, I already have one of those! I used it on my Spinning Bike in the gym – but it's miles too big for my bike saddle! My Dad got lucky, and found a gel seat (a full seat; replaced the entire saddle, not just one you tug on over the top of the one already on the bike!) in one of the supermarkets, but I think it was the last one in stock. :(

      Not to worry, however. I'll be fit enough, soon enough, that a wee small saddle won't be a worry.

      And I hope that your gel seat cover does you a good service, too! Good luck with your new old bike! :)

    • Shannon

      They sell saddle “pads” here at Walmart. Makes the seat bigger and more comfortable for those of us with larger tushies. They even have that nice gel in them, that make them squishy!! I’m gonna buy one for myself here soon as I just got a secondhand bike this past weekend. The seat is WAY too narrow to be comfy, so I really need one. Best of luck to you!

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